CARERS LOFT

Stress Relief and Self Care Tools And Resources For Carers and Caregivers Of Loved Ones

Change Your Thoughts To Change Your Life

If only you could change your thoughts to change your life! Ever have those kinds of days when everything gets on top of you and you can’t get things done? I certainly have these past 6 weeks or so. Well you can change things, it’s all just a matter of perspective. It’s currently the holidays and most people find their time freed up a bit. Not me! Silly me finds extra things to do in my freed up time. In fact I pile it up. So much so that I have been feeling quite frustrated because I’ve been totally unable to work on the things I enjoy. Or to try to build up my home business. Crazy I know. There has to be a better way to look at life.

 

Who Said School Holidays Were Relaxing?

 

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Relaxation should look more like this

The school holidays means freedom from the rigorous timetables throughout the year, but also finds me needing to clear and clean and get re-organised ready for the next year. Somehow you are still busy, with other ‘stuff’.  So why not try to change your thoughts? The least it will do is change how you feel about life at that point in time and then see how you feel about your situation after that?

 

Down In The Dumps

 

I was feeling pretty crappy and was down on myself, but then I focused on the positive instead of what I was originally doing. Thinking about the negative side of my circumstances serves no real purpose, all it does is make you glum. My perception of my situation was changed for the better where my feelings of frustration subsided to the point where I could actually feel proud of what I had achieved.

 

Being A Carer Is Busy!

 

Change your thoughts tp change your life

Nurse Mummy

It’s a time consuming life, being a carer, but add in to the fold a few extra events that happened all at once, my chaotic life, became even more hectic. The trouble with filling my time up with other things that suddenly required my attention because I hadn’t had time in the school year to do it, is that the actual time in reality that I am able to spend on myself is minimal and those time slots just aren’t big enough to get on with anything of quality. It sometimes feels like I’m fighting an uphill battle.

 

No ‘Me Time’ For Me!

 

For one example, recently my daughter’s care needs rose due to an illness, which took away some time to myself I was supposed to be getting. I was rubbing my hands together with glee at the prospect of some “me” time.

Then she got sick and put a spanner in the works causing extra time added on for her care instead. When she wasn’t in need of a bucket or back rub or a trip to hospital for a hydration drip or a doctor’s visit or two, she was calling me to perform Reiki several times a day to help ease pain or nausea. On the positive side, I am pleased that Reiki helps her.

 

What Was Causing Such Negative Thoughts?

 

Firstly, my birthday fell just before Christmas. I decided to celebrate with a Star Wars birthday bash. There was much organisation needed in terms of themed food, decorations and costumes. I put the party on mostly by myself which was very draining. But I was able to spend some much needed time with my friends whom I don’t get to see very often these days.

 

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My 50th Star Wars Birthday Party – My Daughter Made My Artoo Detoo Cake

I Was Stuck Doing Things All Night

 

The drawback to putting the party on myself meant that as hostess and the person in charge of food (my sister and friend helped), I was having to divide my time between chatting, preparation and serving. Thus got very little time to spend with each of my guests. The important thing is that they all care about me, even when I can’t catch up with them as often as I would like.

 

A Laugh A Minute With Mum

 

There was a funny side though. My elderly mother, who is used to me having blonde hair, didn’t understand my Princess Leia’s bagel bun was a wig. To her, my hair had changed colour and looked very unfashionable. She pointed at me and burst out laughing when she first saw it, and then for the remainder of my party, kept telling me she didn’t like my hair. It was quite hilarious.

 

What Else? Let’s See……

 

Cheers, change thoughts to change your life

Cheers

Christmas was just a few days later and this year it was at our house. Therefore hot on the heals of my Star Wars birthday party, there was more preparation and organisation, more cleaning and tidying for the next onslaught of guests.

 

All By Myself

 

I have to do all of this by myself due to my daughter’s inability to cope. Hopefully that will change in time. Even though it was a lot of hard work it was a wonderful family day.

My own family came of course, my mother too, then we had my sister and her family and my brother and his fiance who drove all the way from Sydney to join us.

 

Close Family Close Quarters

 

There were a lot of people in my home, so there were bodies everywhere, the extended table could barely fit in my dining and lounge area and once the chairs were in we were quite squished. Lucky we are a close family. Then obviously there was the cleanup that goes hand in hand with having visitors and while they would have all helped, I wanted to them to have a nice relaxing day. I was exhausted after both the party and Christmas, and we hadn’t even arrived at the New Year yet.

 

What Did The New Year Bring?

 

More people staying at our house unexpectedly for some of them, more mess, more cooking, more work, less time for my own ventures. My other “stuff” involved moving furniture around, unpacking and replacing bookshelves, creating space in my daughter’s room, putting storage cupboards in my dining area, sorting out my granddaughter’s bedroom (new items arrived with Christmas before I had cleared the older things away). It was havoc that’s for sure, but well worth the effort I put in.

 

I Was Busy, But At Least It Was Busy With Different Things Instead Of The Same Old Stuff

 

Yet again, I found myself regretting the time not spent on myself, but believe it or not, I found a certain kind of happiness in this hard work. I’ve always felt messy house, messy mind and the fact that my house gets in a state that I am less than happy with means that something that has been bugging me for months got done finally. It was not all in vain and I can feel better able to start this year new and refreshed and with a clearer mind.

 

Can We Breathe Yet? No, There Was A Wedding To Attend

 

Move ahead a couple of weeks. I was still doing my house sorting, and we had a wedding to attend. We were once again, all over the place. I attended my very first beach wedding ever when my brother was married on the beach. It was unfortunately very windy and we were all getting sand in our eyes, including the poor bride who happened to be placed facing into the wind for the entire ceremony.  It was well worth getting sand in our eyes to attend that absolutely stunning wedding on the beach, what a beautiful backdrop.

 

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Beautiful Beach Wedding

 

It was a wonderful event, long awaited for, due to my brother not really having believed before in the whole marriage scene, to him marriage was just a piece of paper. But he met a beautiful lady who somehow changed his mind and now we have a new sister in law whom we adore. Nearly all of my family were there so it’s always good for a celebratory get together and the rare chance of taking photos of us together. We are spread out over Victoria, New South Wales and Queensland so for us all to be able to meet up all in one place at the same time, takes a lot of coordination.

 

An 80th Birthday Celebration Was Next

 

My mother turned 80 the very next day and we had planned a big event for that too seems the majority of the family were already together for the wedding. Actually this was planned first and my brother decided it would be a good time to tie the knot while we could all be in attendance.

We chose to celebrate in style with an English high tea for her. We went in full Gatsby garb. Our setting was a lovely tea room set in a beautiful lush green valley. Once again there was coordinating and organisation to be done, some of us were shopping for dress up items for other members of the family who couldn’t find things where they lived.

 

Dressing, Undressing and Dressing Again – Fun!

 

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Gatsby High Tea for Mums 80th Birthday.

It was busy, busy, busy again. Dressing all of my family, and my Mum several times on the day because she was too hot or changed her mind, in a house that was hot and muggy (air con wasn’t working). Everyone being so sticky from it and it took quite a lot longer to get dressed, undressed and dressed again. It was an interesting experience to say the least. We were late to her own birthday party but we got there in the end.

 

Lots Of Great Photo Opportunities

 

Lots of effort went into the day and yielded the result that my mum and our rather large family had a very memorable day together to celebrate my Mum’s 80 years of life so far. Mum loves the photo book we had made for her to remember it by.

 

But Wait, There’s More!

 

Emotional Healing, change thoughts to change life

Emotional Healing Will One Day Be A Reality

My interests in working with people in need of emotional healing mean that one day I hope to open a clinic for people to come who are seeking alternative methods.

 

A Milestone is Reached

 

I have been way behind on completing my training in one of my modalities and have been playing catch up with this during the holidays so that I can hopefully use it to build several income streams.

While it has also been quite time consuming to complete these, I have managed to do this and they’ve been submitted for assessment and hopefully soon I will have my practitioner status. Yay, one more job done. (Update – All passed with flying colours)

 

So Here I Was – Exhausted, Negative, Frustrated – What Could I Do To Change?

 

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Exhausted and Negative Was How I Was Feeling

When I started writing this article, I thought I sounded a bit whiny about all this work I had to do, because I really should have taken the opportunity to rest instead.

 

Changed Perspective

 

But when I look at it from this new perspective of having found and written about all the positives, I think wow, I really have accomplished quite a lot in these past weeks and should be congratulating myself with a pat on the back instead of feeling frustrated.

 

I Can Be Proud

 

I turned the situation into something to be proud of, a much more positive experience than I realised. In doing this and looking for the good in everything I have shown myself how to avoid feeling upset with myself for not achieving more and to just be happy knowing that I did it. I can start this new year feeling much more uplifted than I have in quite some time.

 

Healing Music Helps

 

Silly me. I also remembered, after forgetting to use them in this whole time, that I have my Whole tones frequency music that I really should have been listening to, it may have helped me see the positive side sooner. I ended up putting it on in the background while I was writing today.

It can help me tune out other distractions and get on with things more quickly and efficiently, plus I feel it reduces my stress levels when my daughter misunderstands something and spends the next 45 minutes abusing me, which has just happened during the writing of this paragraph. I find even just thinking about playing this music begins to bring my heart rate back closer to normal and the stress starts to melt away. Its more appealing than sitting here having anxiety for ages and not being able to settle down.

 

What Can YOU Do?

 

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Feeling Frustrated

If you too are feeling frustrated, I hope that you will heed this advice and begin to think about things in a different light. You will see that even though ‘stuff’ gets in the way of what you are trying to do with your life, you don’t need to believe that these are problems. They are in fact accomplishments for you to be proud of, one more thing crossed to be off your to-do list.

 

Let Me Be Your Light

 

This is not something that I have studied much of, it’s just something that I innately know and sometimes become aware of at times when I need it the most. Sometimes I remember, other times it takes another person to remind me. I hope that if this is a time that you have forgotten, that I can be the light that goes on in your head.

 

What Should You Do Now?

 

It’s easy. Change your thoughts to change your life so you can go forth with love and understanding for yourself. Thank you carers and caregivers for being valued members of society and taking the time to visit my site to read this article.

If you have anything to offer in addition to these ideas, I would be honored if you will share them with my readers and I. The comment section below is available for you to share your experiences, ideas and frustrations. What have you done lately to add to your crazy, chaotic life?

 

Warm Wishes

Ange

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