I Will Take Care Of You – The Caregivers Creed -What Is a Mothers Love?
What is a mothers love?
“I will take care of you”. Fitting words to describe what is a mothers love. Even if not a carer, a mother represents the core of the Caregivers Creed. The role of a carer, caregiver, is often brought about through a need to start caring for a child, parent, relative, partner or other loved one.
My Love, My Life
For me, it was my daughter (and later my mother and one of my sisters). The element of love, and for many people that love is unconditional, was the deal-sealer for me. I am sure you can relate if you too are a mother and a Carer. Love doesn’t allow us to walk away from the people we love in their time of need. I think it pertinent to start this story at a happy time, a time when that kind of love was abundant and joyful, however naive that may sound now. A time that now seems distant, almost alien to me even.
Once Upon A Time
I remember when my daughter was born. Such a tiny, fragile, helpless, soft little bundle that I just knew it would break my heart and soul if anything ever happened to her. I was bursting so much with love for her that I could not ever foresee anything ever hurting her. Not while I was around. That protectiveness was so in-ground in me that I distinctly recall thinking that I would throw myself in front of a bus to save her if needed, and I would do it without hesitation. No, nothing was going to hurt my little girl, not ever. I would not, could not, allow it.
See How Much She Meant To Me?
I have a video here that demonstrates quite nicely how passionate I was about taking care of my beautiful, precious little girl. Even now, it still brings goose bumps to my skin. Please take a few moments to listen to feel what it meant to me to be there for my daughter. It lasts about 4 minutes.
Amy Sky – I Will Take Care Of You
Words Taken Straight From The Song To My Heart!
“I will take care of you, the very best that I can, with all of the love here in my heart and all of the strength in my hands, your every joy I share, for every tear I’ll be there my whole life through, I will take care of you”. Truer words were never spoken. I think this would have to be the words every mother tells herself as she envelops her baby in her unconditional, undying love during that early bonding process. I know I did. This song hadn’t been written yet when my daughter was born. But it certainly was on air at the time when she was about 9 years old and boy did it have an impact on me.
My Heart Was Shattered
Shattered Heart
You see, when my daughter was just 3 and 3/4 years of age, she was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL). Well, did I just get the rug pulled out from underneath me? What was that? What is this A.L.L.? How could this be? What caused it? How could this happen when I’m supposed to be taking care of her? How on Earth could I have protected her from this unseen enemy?
Burning Questions
Is she going to die? What is her prognosis? How do you treat that? Did you just say chemotherapy? What is that? For how long? How will it affect my developing child? Will there be any side effects? Will there be any long-term side effects? Was it something I did wrong? What now? Could I have prevented it?
What Would Treatment Entail?
All of these questions came pouring into my mind. Basically, the treatment at the time for this kind of Leukaemia was to be given chemotherapy for about 2 and 1/4 years. Often the treatments would go for about 6 weeks at a time and then she would have a 2 week break, then start over again. This changed with whichever chemotherapy (chemical soup or chemical cocktail as the oncologist described it to me once) they decided to use to treat her. There were a few different protocols they followed at each stage of treatment.
How Do I Protect Her From All Of The Pain She Was About To Endure?
My poor little girl. How do you tell a child at not even 4 years of age, that the things they are about to do to her are going to help her in the long run? How can she ever begin to understand why you, her mother who is supposed to love her and protect her and not let her get hurt, is suddenly allowing these people to ‘do bad things to her’, even helping them? Nothing can ever prepare you for that, and nothing will ever prepare a 3 and three quarter year old child to be able to understand it either.
A Significant Moment
Star Wars Party celebrating 5 years off treatment and continued remission
I share this video because it was played with special meaning at my daughter’s Star Wars party for her mile-stone 5 years off chemotherapy. The significance of this mile-stone was that she had reached a stage where they could say she was most likely going to stay in remission and so she was considered to be cancer-free.
Difficult Times
I wanted to express my deep love for her and my having cared for her through all of these hard times because of that love. It was an extremely difficult time for both of us. And I wanted her to understand and see that I had been there for her, and always would be. I took care of her.
“I Wish You Would Remember How I Was There For You!”
Therefore this video represents so much more to me than just the birth of my daughter, it represents the creed I have lived by for these past 20 + years, the carer’s creed, and like I said, can still raise those goose bumps. I literally have been there for every tear she has shed, and have had to be so strong for both of us just to get by every day. I sometimes need to listen to it again once in a while to remind myself of how it was before, to remind myself what is a mother’s love, and why I do the things I do for her now.
But Wait, There’s More!
More on that coming later, but suffice it to say, our troubles did not end there and the very thing I was terrified of happening, that she would grow up hating me for ‘helping them hurt her”, because let’s face it, how could she not feel like that when she was so young, has happened and we are trying to work through all of those emotions now.
I am still saying to her “I will take care of you”, this is the caregivers creed in a nutshell, and completely constitutes what is a mother’s love.
This is just the beginning. And so our story goes on……..
Thank you for reading this. Please come back. It’s nice to be able to put pen to paper to express some of the emotions and thoughts that go through your head during such times. Have you had similar experiences? Can you relate to this article? If so I would love you to reach out and say hi in my comments section below.
Warm wishes
Ange
Acknowledgments:
Shattered Heart image copyright and courtesy of Nevit Dilman under the following license
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